Friday, January 11, 2013

Redskins Trade 23 Draft Choices for Donovan McNabb

You can bet your sweet bippee that Danny-boy and Fanny-boy will desperately trade/draft/sign another quarterback, soon, because poor RG III ain't coming back as soon as he and they thinks he is.

Just think, we'll get to see someone like Donovan  (I am down in the dirt passer)  McNabb, Jason  (I love to learn new systems) Campbell, Mark  (I love Joe Gibbs) Brunell, Patrick  (How did I get picked first?) Ramsey, Brad  (Why did those idiots release me?)  Johnson, and if we're really lucky Danny  (I can throw it as far as Spurrier wants) Weurlfel or Health (I'm lousy as a Congressman, too) Shuler or Jeff (watch how far I can chuck it) George.

Ahhhhhhhhh........................ the good ol' days are back, I can't wait.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Shanny is now Fanny

Shanny is quoted in the paper this morning as saying that if he had to do it all over again, he'd make the same decision to leave RG III in the game, which everyone else agrees was the stupidest fucking decision ever made in the history of pro football.

So, Shanny is now officially Fanny.  An ass.  An unmitigated, unexpurgated, unforgiven, unrepentant ass.

p.s. for those of you who think I was threatening anyone when I said in my last post "they shoot ownders and coaches, don't they?", I was obviously playing on the movie of a similar name  ("They Shoot Horses, Don't They?"), and the fact that RG III when he went down in the fourth quarter was like a horse with a broken leg, who would have been shot on the spot.  So, I'm definitely not trying to kill anyone, OK?  Or suggesting that anyone else try to kill anyone.  And if you doubt that, have a gander at my Facebook page with gun control postings resulting from the recent horrors at Newtown. 

p.p.s.  this post is courtesy of my lawyer/daughter, who is worried that I'll be arrested by Homeland Security, if someone actually shoots Fanny or Danny-boy.

p.p.p.s.  my daughter is one smart cookie, who is looking after my ass, so thank you  (I probably should not mention her name Lara Kaufmann).

They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

I almost felt as if the coaches would come out on the field in the 4th quarter, with RG III writhing in pain, unable to even turn around and make an attempt to recover the fumble on that errant snap  (shades of the turkey Turk bros. in Tampa) and shoot the poor fellow to take him out of his pain.

Of course, they should have been shooting Shanny, not RG III, for what must go down as the most stupid fucking decision in the annals of professional sports - keeping RG III in the game.  Because he asked to.  OMFG.  

Shanny to RG III:  "do you want to stay up past your bedtime and play with your toys?".   RG III:  "yes, daddy, plllllleeeeeeeeeeeease!".   Shanny:  "OK, you know you've stayed up all this week, since your mother  (and my brain) have been out of town, so WTF, sure, stay up as long as you like.  Stay up, in fact, until you fall asleep.  Then I will have you carried off the field..... er, to your bed.  And you will sleep for a long, long time.  How do you like that?"  RG III:  "Oh, goody, Daddy, you're the best daddy in the world."

So, here's the news from the Redskins on Monday about RG III's knee:   the results from the MRI are "inconclusive".   What a bunch of fucking crap.  When's the last time you had an MRI and your doctor gazed into your eyes and said "the results are inconclusive, so I'll have to send you to a specialist in Florida".  His knee is obviously shot.  He's likely torn his ACL, the same one he tore in college, and will require surgery, which will likely keep him out of action for next season.  Oh, I forgot, he wants to play, so in a classic un-Strasburg like move, Shanny  (assuming he's still here, which, with Danny-boy at the helm, is almost guaranteed)  will say:  "ok, you can stay up late, again."

Can't you just see the Redskins' brass huddled with the doctors in Ashburn, muttering "what the fuck do we tell the public?"  After tossing several ideas around, including "his knee is fine", "his knee is not quite right"  "his knee will need a specialist to determine the extent of the injury"  (they would never use the "I" word, which would contradict Shanny's assessment that "he was only hurt, not injured".), they settled on saying nothing, i.e., the results are "inconclusive".  This is classic Snyder-speak, going back to the days of Cerato  (oh, Vinny, where are you now?  such an easy target....).

So, the Skins are fucked.  And we have a stupid-ass coach, with an offensive guy who will leave the team, and the nuttiest fucking owner in the whole NFL.  What else is new?

They shoot coaches and owners, don't they?

Monday, January 7, 2013

HERE WE GO AGAIN… THE GHOST OF DANNY-BOY APPEARS, SCARY AS EVER!


Well, after 3 years of self-imposed radio silence, I am moved by the Redskins idiocy apparent in the last 3 quarters of the Seahawks/Skins playoff game, to share this post, as a therapeutic method (as always) of venting my un-ventable anger.

 

I mean, Jesus-fucking-Christ.  It does not take a rocket scientist, or my smart-as-shit son, to figure out that RG III  (aka i-can-play-with-two-broken-legs-if-the-stupid-coach-will-let-me) was injured in the first quarter, when just before the second TD, he rolled out right and limped to the ground, grimacing.  He tore off his helmet on the sidelines, in obvious pain.

 

Now whose fault is it that he stayed in, and thus cost the Redskins the game?  Is it his fault?  No.  RG III  (his aka is just too long to keep repeating it) is like a child who must have his toys taken away from him to get to bed.  More aptly, he is like a lieutenant leading his men into battle, who will go no matter what, to inspire his troops.  If the lieutenant leaves everything on the field, the troops will too.  If the quarterback plays hurt, the troops will too  (playing hurt being an ancient & misbegotten culture, alive and well in the NFL).  It was up to the commander in chief  (aka the head coach Shanny)  to be the adult, to tell the little boy it was bedtime, to tell the lieutenant to go to the infirmary because he was threatening the well-being of the troops.  The troops could get killed, just like the Redskins did in the second, third and fourth quarters.  OK, forget the 2nd quarter, even though it was obvious he was injured.  Did you see him grimacing as he executed a (selfishly called) rollout around the left side, going out of bounds untouched?  Grimacing.  As in a lot of fucking pain.

 

Poor Cousins.  If Shanny had put him in at the beginning of the 2nd half, with the Redskins nursing a 14-13 lead, we/he would have had a chance, he could have executed a regular 2nd half game plan.  After all, he performed magnificently in such a role earlier in the season, playing a full game and leading the Skins to victory over the Browns.  The Seahawks might not have tried an “all in” blitz that occurred when we had 4 minutes to play and were down 10 points.  Kirk had no chance.  Shanny fed him to the lions, only yanking RG III when he fumbled and couldn’t turn around to grab the ball.   I thought he’d have to die, literally, before the General would scrape him off the field. 

 

So, we have the spectacle of Shanny channeling Bruce Allen  (son of George) and Danny-boy.  Yep, the “Future is Now”, short term thinking that pervaded every single season and every single decision since Danny-boy has owned the team  (remember $113 million Haynesworth?)  rose like a phoenix, like a ghost, and whispered in Shanny’s ear “Let’s win now, fuck his health, let’s win now”.   Perhaps the most stupid decision of Shanny’s so-called career.  He lost us the game, and lost RG III to knee surgery that will keep him out September & October  (probably November, too, since he will convince Shanny to give him a month before having the surgery, saying “I’m fine, it’ll heal by itself”).  We will be lucky if he still has a career  (remember Theisman, Gayle Sayers, etc.).

 

And let’s face it, Shanny has really only made one good decision the whole time he’s coached here.  And that was hiring his son Kyle as offensive coordinator.  You think drafting RG III was a good decision?  Well, if so, it was a bet-the-company good decision, a crapshoot, a roll the dice and hope we win situation.  And ok, he won that gamble, RG III is extraordinary.  But that’s it.  Two good decisions.  Drafting Morris was luck, drafting Cousins was luck.  He lucked out.  Truth be said, any good back could run through the holes that Morris has been running through.  The backs are fungible, interchangeable, as Shanny himself has admitted.  Credit goes to the offensive line.  As for Cousins, he was executing Kyle’s offense.  Executing it well, but any journeyman QB who is half mobile  (unlike Rex) could probably do it.  Two.  Good.  Decisions.  One.  Of.  Which. Was.  A.  Bet.  The.  Company.  “Decision”.  

 

What does this all portend, you might ask?  Kyle is outa here, he will be snapped up as head coach somewhere, in a NY minute.  You think he’ll stay to be with Daddy Shanny?  No way – why would a son want to stay with a dad who makes stupid, franchise-costing decisions?

 

Now if it were me, I’d fire Shanny.  Two stinking good decisions over several years.  And one ginormous terrible decision.  Contract extension?  Ha.  Fire him.

 

In his place, hire Davey Johnson.  Fire Allen and hire Mike Rizzo.  Hey, it’s all a ballgame, right?  At least they know how to make decisions that are in the long term interest of the franchise.  More importantly, in the long term interest of the PLAYER.

 

I could go on and on and on, but this has worked, the anger has subsided, and now I can return to real life. 

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO

Every now and then, one gets to gloat.

My turn.

Re-read my post from April 25, 2010 about Snyder's misbegotten acquisition of Donovan McNabb being a big mistake, a classic Snyder blunder.

OMFUCKINGNICIENT!

Here we are, almost a year later, and the talk is all about how McNabb failed, how he incessantly throws passes into the ground, how he was unable to adapt to Shanahan's offense, and in fact got benched the last several games in favor of a guy whose name I can't even remember.

I fucking told you so.

As you can see from my previous post (BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO), the end is not near - it's here. After waiting 25 years on the fucking waiting list (I got on it when Lombardi was coach), and after getting the tickets in 1992 and holding the tickets for almost 20 years, and after suffering through only 2 playoff appearances in all that time (I even took my kids down to Tampa Bay in 1999 to see Turk to Turk fumble a snap on a last minute field goal, losing 14-13), I gave up. Yes, my timing getting the tickets was atrocious (not that I had any choice) - I got my season tickets the season AFTER Rypien won our last Super Bowl, the first year that Pettibon was coach. Oy. I did not renew this year. The deadline was March 1st and I let it go by. Sniff sniff. Snyder even offered a 5% discount on the Redskins jersey of the as-yet undrafted wunderkind "franchise" quarterback that the Skins will undoubtedly pick in the first round. But it was not enough. I negotiated for a 10% discount, and upon deadlocking at 7.5%, I punted. But unlike the Turks, I didn't botch it. It actually felt good to send a message to Danny Boy that the combination of his incredible arrogance, mismanagement, his "let's throw some money at it" solution to everything, the so-called "fan experience" (shitty) at the stadium in Godforsakenville - jeez, I could go on all day - led to me saying WTF. The last straw, I think, was Snyder suing the City Paper for libel, thereby bringing that wonderful article to the attention of hundreds of thousands of people who never saw it in the first place. He says that he was advised to do so by his media relations guy - the guy hired to improve his image. What's the guy's name? Probably a relative of Vinny Cerrato.

The only solace is that Snyder has truly had his day. We have seen the beginning of the end of pro football, and that includes Danny Boy. It will go the way of Six Flags. And pro boxing. And the killing of Christians by lions. Just ask yourself: how many mothers are going to let their precious sons play junior league football after the horrible news about concussions, and about that pre-Alzheimers disease that caused one player to commit suicide so his brain could be studied? The answer is: only the very stupid mothers. And then high school football will dry up. And then the colleges will dry up. And then the NFL draft will dry up. And then, and then, and then....heh heh...along came Jones (ah, another old song). And then Danny Boy will need to find another expensive amusement to mismanage. Why doesn't he just fucking give his money to charity? Do a Bill Gates? (ya gotta love that guy, seriously). Because it's too obvious.

Well, it's fucking 2:00 am here in Washington DC. I have been writing this blog under a pseudonym, fearing that Sndyer will take revenge and revoke my season tickets. But I am no longer afraid of him. Come and get me! Make me an example, like City Paper, of how you don't believe in freedom of speech. What a clown. The judgment of a flea.

So, I'm coming out of the closet. My real name is Perry Saidman. I am a native Washingtonian, graduating from Coolidge High School. I live in DC.

So there.